Today is just another day

Today the calmness and peacefulness I talked about a couple of days ago has gone, lead by the weeping of a city and a nation. I haven't felt as comfortable as other nights. Helicopters, police cars with their sirens, more people than usual. The game against France and the loss of our virginity in this Football World Cup 2006 has caused a little nightmare in Spain. I have felt that all that things have spoilt my quiet and calmness walk with my dog (that is usually only interrupted by the fear he has of other dogs). Many red T-shirts, many conversations about the game. And it is just another beautiful day. And tomorrow it will also. Nothing should change that. Our life will not change just with a game or a result. Forget about it fast and enjoy life. I want to have my calm nights again. Life is not a 90 minutes game. It is just a little longer.

Again here

It was such a long time with no new posts, I was not so inspired to do it and I have been quite busy.
I am listening to the new Sonic Youth record. It is very good, I guess. It is my first listening.
Just back from getting the dog out. I only find peacefulness, calmness, and, of course, a pleasant temperature at night in this city. The stress of a big city is suddenly gone. I like it. Only a few people walking, or enjoying Madrid's marvellous temperature at night: 24ºC. Many, many, many, cities and their inhabitants would like to have that temperature during the whole summer the day hours. Here, we have it at night. It sounds funny.
I don't know what has changed me. I like calmness and silence in my life. I believe I am asking for too much and Madrid can not pleasantly give me that pleasure. And fresh nights...not anymore. Too big city. I would like it to be half or a fourth its actual size and population. It would be great. there should be a limit, "This city is already full. Only visits." Yep, but maybe that is too radical. I guess. Let the people live where they want. And let me dream about leaving this city.

Mundos opuestos // Opposite Worlds

Esto fue escrito el pasado día 6 de junio, y ha sido traducido hoy, día 13 del mismo mes.
This was written las 6th of june, and it was translated today, 13th of the same month.

Gran diferencia
la que representa tan sólo un cristal,
una puerta cerrada,
pero aún transparente para algunos.
Dos mundos opuestos
separados sólo por centímetros,
y por libertades contrarias.

Pájaros se dejan mecer fuera en las ramas al sol,
sólo porque lo desean,
personas dentro ni siquiera se dan cuenta,
de lo que son privadas.

Días y días pasar
ninguno de ellos es diferente,
en todos esa misma espera,
esa triste calma,
donde uno a uno todos abandonan el barco,
de pena o arrastrados
por olas de olvido.

Tantos y tan bellos ojos profundos,
ojos que han visto vidas enteras,
y que ahora te miran con pena,
de verse con almas expertas,
pero cuerpos que no responden.

Ojos que recuerdan qué han sido,
cada instante incluído en sus vidas,
que se ven abocados ahora a un final poco digno,
a una sinrazón que sólo ellos no ven lógica.



Big difference
that one represented by only a glass,
a closed door, but still transparent for some.
Two opposite worlds,
only separated by centimetres
and by contrary freedoms.

Birds let themselves being rocked outside in the branches at the sun,
only because they wish it,
people inside don't even notice
of what they are deprived.

Days and days pass,
none of them are different,
all with that same wait,
that sad calmness,
where one by one all drop out of the ship,
of sorrow or swept out
by waves of oblivion.

Many and such beautiful deep eyes,
eyes that have seen entire lifes,
and that now look at you with grief,
of seeing themselves with expert souls,
but bodies that don't respond.

Eyes that remember what have them be,
every instant filmed in their lifes,
that now see themselves doomed to a non worthy end,
to an unreasonableness that only them don't see logic.

The misunderstood (persons)

It seems to be the title of a film, a sad one, I believe it could be. Every single day of our lives we meet people who, in one way or other, are different and apart of the society. And they are discriminated or treated in different ways because this conditions. It doesn't matter if it is skin colour, or religion, that is obvious, but this fact goes further on, and things less obvious, like those who think different, who have differerent ideas than the rest, those ideas that nobody understand or such conditions nobody care about. For example, where is the limit between a sect and a religion? Or why is a religion considered the evil religion for other religions, if they are all the same? They are trying to look for something they don't have with quite stupid rules sometimes, very stupid rules, I must say. Rules shouldn't exist.
Those people are just put aside of the society, the others don't even try to understand their ideas, the others just judge.
A great example of this are The elderly people. We just don't understand them, Do you know why? Because we are not old, we will only understand them, and we will become part of the Misunderstoods, when we will get older and "nobody" will understand us.
Have you ever been in a Residence for The Elderly? Sad places, like prisons, not because they were guilty of doing anything wrong against the law, just because they are not like the rest, just because they don't fit in the society anymore.
I've been visiting my grandmother today: great and modern facilities, but still, I do not get used to the fact that she is going to spend there the rest of her life...in such an isolated place, with all the sunlight and warm that it was, the surroundings looked like a plot.There are no excuses, of being between a great area of nature, or ot, it doesn't mater, it is not important, they are not going out, they are inside forever, and the feeling of having 2 little bushes inside doesn't help... Such confortable place to live, it should be, but it is like being in jail with all the confortabilities...and of course it doesn't conmpensate. I hate it.
And I have re-discovered today two things about my life:
1.- I can not stand summers in Madrid, mainly because its unbearable hot. How do I like The Sun, yes, but I just can not be under its rays in summer here.
2.-I can see that The elderly can really see my beauty, everytime I go with my grandmother everywhere, they say to her, oh, what a cute grandson you have!! I like it. It makes me smile and it makes smile her.

Almost 13 hours listening to music

Here, now listening to Jose Gonzalez I have noticed that It is such a huge number of hours. And believe me I haven't cheated anything. I have just stopped to it while I was having lunch and while I wasn't at my room. While studying finnish, while chatting, etc...always listening to Music. Today, from Jose Gonzalez to Sepultura, passing by Mogwai, Shout out Louds, PANIC! at the disco, and many many more....
You can see the list of the songs here, in a word document.
I was obliged to delete the text with the songs because it was too long.

Some moments when everything ....

when everything just seems to be against you, when nothing you want to work works. It is a sensation of being nothing, nobody. But I still think that everything has a reason, and if those things haven't worked is because something.
Here I am, 3:13 at night listening to The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, at least Winamp works. I wanted to record my voice tonight, I wanted it to be a present, in fact I've been speaking for over 6 minutes without knowing than the microphone didn't work. I looked for the sofware in the internet, I made some tests, but when it had to work it didn't.
I've been also trying to write a Motivation letter for applying for money to do my PhD, I didn't know what to write and I better left it for tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a better day. I really hope I won't have those nightmares I had last night. Horrible, I mean, really horrible, maybe I will write it down some day, it is about to be written in my non-electronical diary. Why?
And that finnish language: God, why wasn't I born Suomalainen? But at least I like it.


I will keep on singing in my dreams, and I hope to dream about u.

"Good good things happen in bad towns" (Yeah yeah yeahs, Honeybear)

What will happen in The Village?

Good night

Lordi did it: They won Eurovision!!!

Finally, the traditional Eurovision song contest brings something new and different into our homes, that had been punished with no reason year after year with old-fashioned clichés.
And Lordi got into the contest, not without a polemic choice in their home country, Finland, and receiving critics from a clergyman from the Orthodox Church, who said that Lordi "is a stupid joke of Finland".
But still they won.
And I say, why all that criticism?, Why all that accusations of being an incitement to Satanism? Why is still some people in Europe that close-minded?
Ok, it is not my kind of music, neither it is the "typical political cliché" music that we used and use to see at Eurovision, but at least is a REAL band, chosen by the Finns, and that is a reflect of them: Suomi has many fans of hard rock and guitar rock.
And what about Spain? Again and again and again: deplorable in a word. Why always all that spanish guitars, all that latin spirit, there's only left the bullfighter and the bull itself. It sucks. I really wanted Spain to be the last country. A comitteé of experts chose "Las Ketchup" as the candidates, and well, it doesn't get far better when the crowd has the right to do it...
Another thing that was a surprise (although i knew it) was the politic burden this contest has: we got 12!! points from Andorra!!! Al lot of countries surronding Russia voted them and the same with Scandinavians, they voted each other.

Well, and as Helingin Sanomat proclaimed this morning: "It's official: Hell has frozen over. Finland has won". And it is true, nobody who hasn't been in Finland knows how a Finn felt when they were told about their performances in Eurovision. All those years of humilliation and zero points have ended, now they have their winners: Lordi.

Time for writings

Los tonos cremas de las luces nocturnas

te iluminan mientras fumas.
Tu mirada perdida
delata pensamientos profundos
y mientras, en otro lugar,
con similares luces y parecida belleza,
alguien recuerda tu sonrisa,
alguien piensa en odiar o amar la vida.

Y no sabes por qué no puedo, simplemente
aparecer de la nada en tus calles
y no en las mías;
caer, como la lluvia cae del cielo
y abrazar tus sentidos;
ser Luz que te ilumina
y transformarme luego en hombre;
ser parte de esas calles que admiras,
doblar la esquina

y ver mi cara y la tuya juntas,
y sellar un beso,
por fin,
como amantes de un pasado siglo hicieron,
como amantes de hoy en día hacen.



The night lights' cream colours
illuminate you while you smoke.
Your lost look
betray deep thoughts,
and, meanwhile, in other place,
with similar lights and alike beauty,
somebody remember your smile,
somebody think in hate or love Life.

And you don't know why can't I, simply,
appear from anywhere in your streets,
and not in mine;
fall, like rain falls from heaven,
and embrace your senses;
be Light that illuminates you
and then transform myself in man;
be part of those streets you admire,
turn the corner
and see your face and mine together,
and seal a kiss,
finally,
like lovers from a past century did,
like lovers nowadays do.

And a second one // Y un segundo

Mi desconfianza en mí mismo
me hace ver golpes donde no los hay,
me hace sentir cosas que no son,
ilusionarme cuando la ilusión no existe,
y pensar en el pasado cuando todos saben que

éste ya no importa.


My distrust in myself
makes me see blows where there are not
makes me feel things that are not,
builds up my illusion when illusion doesn't exist,
and think about the past, when everybody know that
it 's not important anymore.

Un nuevo escrito // A new writing

Y escuché una explosión
tan grande que rompió todas las ideas,
las opiniones más dipares.
Juntó a todas y las fundió en la verdad;
tan sorprendente pareció a unos y otros
pero decidieron perdonarse a sí mismos y a los demás,
ya que, la verdad era tan imposible de descubrir
que sólo ella sabía que existía.

And I heard an explosion,
as big that it broke all the ideas,
the most different opinions.
It joined all together and united them in the truth;
such surprising it seemed toone and others
but they decided to forgive themselves and the rest,
because, truth was so impossible to discover
that only She knew that existed.

The begining of a new stage of my life?

Today I have re-started the reading of "The Celestine Prophecy". I hope it will help myself and I will see life as clear as before. This wednesday I bought a cd "Placebo", my favourite cd from them, the first one, although they have really composed good cds later, the last one"Meds" is very good.
I identified that cd with my early twenties, and with a girl, who I haven't see for years.
I was very doubtful about buying the cd, but I finally did.
Then at night, I was with a girl who was having a cigarette in the street, and suddenly, the girl I identify the cd with appear, and we talked for a while. Curious, isn't it?
I am wondering if I wouldn't had bought the cd, would i had met the girl? ....I guess I wouldn't, something says to me....I hope all the magic coincidences are starting again.

The World has turned and left me here

I need a change in my life. I need new horizons, new illusions, new places to discover. I am thinking in reading again "The Celestine Prophecy" ("Las Nueve Revelaciones") by James Redfield, book that I consider as something like my bible (almost), and that guided me in some of my most important decisions in the past. Because I am, in a way, lost. Lost in this jungle as I was once. That book made me see life as nothing did before, and it made me trust in it again.
I went to Norway (the best decision I have ever taken), because some coincidences and facts that happened when I did not know what to choose, and I am proud and happy I did, there I learned many things about life: Life showed me what is Freedom like, and what is life and dead in their pure nature, and believe me it was like living Magic, like if I were a magician.
I asked for things, personal ones, things I believe I truly needed. Life, or destiny, or all the universe's magic forces together granted me, and in one way or another I got my wishes. The saddest way to resolve a problem, in one of the cases, but, who cares now?, that time has passed... A way that I couldn't imagine and that made me suffer at the begining, in other case, but I was glad to live it in that way.
I ask myself today: Where is all that Magic, where are all that coincidences? I must have chosen a wrong way, I don't know what is exactly the limit and what should I change. I know some things I must change, like accepting who I am and try to unfold more my personality, but I don't know which way to take now, I believe I know, but, if I'm wrong? Maybe I am right and I get the wrong idea about the time to go. If I have to wait a little bit?

Almost 30

Yes, in a week now I will be 30 years old...
How does it sound? Old. Is not depression, but I feel I have to find something soon: a place to live feeling Victor 100%, a thing to do for living feeling that it is a thing I would do without getting paid...That means that I love it
I want to find out who the fuck I am and what is the reason why I am here, in planet Earth.
Maybe I am asking for too much, maybe not, but I could not live feeling that I don't have anything to do here, that I am just here to work for the rest of my life going to work and coming home and doing anything else. I still trust this life. (for once I have removed the word "but")
My god!

Leaf among snow

Bicycles are only for summer

Kashmir

Very recently I have discovered a new band, an extraordinay one. With all this internet stuff, discovering new bands for the audience and being discovered by the audience for the bands is much easier. I have discovered many, very good ones, but Kashmir has something more. Too bad that they have entered my life this late, they created the band in 1991in Copenhagen, so it is 15 years of playing, 5 LP's, 1 EP and a live album, plus a documentary released on DVD.
That's all, only my recommendation of listening to this great danish bands...again...Scandinavians....

Some of their extraordinary songs:

Miss you (The good Life, 1999)
Surfing the warm industry (Zitilities, 2003)
Melpomene (Zitilities, 2003)
Kalifornia (No balance Palace, 2005)
She's made of chalk (No balance Palace, 2005)

Links

Official website

The first spanish site for Kashmir

Enjoy the Music!

Music Therapy

A couple of days ago, I was reading "El País" and I found an interesting news. Of course, I read the whole article, and I thought to make a comment, at least, in my blog.
It says like this: "Musicaltherapy in postoperatory". It seems that somebody has done a research study about the effect of Music in people who was operated recently, and a review has been published in one of the most important magazines of Medicine: "The Cochrane Library".
Patients who listened to music, compared to those who did not, complaint much less aout pain after the operations, says the article.
Science has not yet discovered the mechanism or mechanisms through which Music relieve pain, but distraction or relaxation can contribute to it.
You can read the press article here (in spanish) or here (in english).

Session of Music Theraphy in a Hospital

In my personal opinion, this a great news, and, well, why unsdiscovered or unfolded until now? I think everybody believes in that the recovery from a disesase, specially if you have to stay at a Hospital (horrible places, by the way) depends a lot on the personal state of mind of the patient. So, Music, as I truly think that can lead you into a state of absolute calm and/or happiness, should help out in the, sometimes diffcult, recovery.
For me, Music is deeply connected with persons and their state of being, and it is a way of interchange "vital energy", so, people can get high or down with it. I think that part of the composer stays "inside" the song forever, it is like a "mark". Part of their soul, perhaps, goes away with the song, and part of our state of mind. Then, even some of the listeners could take or leave their part in the song, take away the pain or sorrow... Who hasn't listened to a song and believed that takes something out of him/her, or gives him/her the courage to face life again? I have felt it....like if only me and the song existed, and nothing was more important than that.
I want to believe.

The Majestuosity of the "White Cathedral"

Sunset in Finland

Vicios