Helsinki sessions

Una de las cosas que me traje de mi última visita a Helsinki es un cd con 5 temas grabados en el estudio de la Kirjasto 10, biblioteca espectacular donde las haya, que, entre otras cosas e instalaciones, tiene un "estudio" donde grabar lo que te dé la gana con la sola condición de que poseas el carnet que te acredite vivir en la ciudad. Maravilloso. Una vez confirmado el hecho, y, tras la reserva pertinente, me dirigí el pasado día 4 de septiembre a dicha biblioteca, y me quedé anonadado. Una mujer perteneciente al personal de la misma me condujo a la habitación, llamemósla del pánico, y la vista era impresionante: una mesa de sonido en vertical con, lo menos, 150 botones, ésta conectada a un 8 pistas, y este conectado a un ordenador con 2 monitores TFT. Además, altavoces, micrófonos, dvd y tele, plato, una caja de ritmos (intuyo que era eso), y algo mas que no recuerdo. Y le rogué a la mujer que me explicara lo básico para poder grabar, como es costumbre, yo solo, sin agobios para tal íntimo momento. Y llamo a otra persona y en resumidas cuentas llegaron a estar 3 empleados en la sala conmigo hablando en finés y yo esperando a ver si se aclaraba cómo se utilizaba eso, y después de 1 hora y media, nada, me comunican que me tengo que ir, que reserve para otro día y que esperan que el problema se solucione.
Reservé entonces para el miércoles 6, justo un día antes de que abandonara el país. Era poco margen, pero no había otra forma. Las canciones creo que las llevaba bien preparadas, estaba bastante seguro de que la grabación iba a ser decente, no tenía ninguna presión. Había una canción que había acabado en el bus media hora antes de entrar aquel lunes, pero no importaba. La letra donde la he escrito esta escaneada aquí, la verdad es que mola el caos de escritura que hice, pocas veces he sido tan caótico escribiendo una canción, pero es que cambié y añadí cosas por doquier. Me gusta mucho esa canción, es muy buena.
El miércoles más de lo mismo, pero afortunadamente, entre que yo me habia leído un poco un manual del Pro-tools (el programa grabador) y que el chaval que vino sabia un poco más y que tuvimos un poco de suerte (todo hay que decirlo), conseguimos que aquello funcionara. Y después, tocando yo un poco más me hice con lo básico. Añadir nueva pista. Lo malo es que me quedaba una hora y media solo. Grabé 1 ó 2 en directo, sólo 1 pista y otras 2 con guitarra y voz separadamente. Quedó decente, estoy bastante contento de cómo se oye para lo malo que era el micrófono y estar yo sólo grabando sin un técnico. Y dieron las 15:00 y me tuve que ir porque otra persona había reservado de nuevo el estudio...y tenía que volver a grabar el cd!!! El día siguiente, afortunadamente tenían espacio de las 12:00 a las 14:00, o sea que echando de nuevo un vistazo a un manual del programa conseguí grabar en un cd. Además, como tenía tiempo grabé una versión acústica de "Ballenas". Querría haber grabado una nueva que tenía hace tiempo que es un hit, pero no recordaba la letra demasiado bien.
Y así abandoné Helsinki, oyendo la "más que demo" en mis cascos y mirando por última vez, quién sabe hasta cuando, las calles y suburbios de la capital finlandesa. Se oye muy bajo, pero está bien. Las "Helsinki Sessions".


One of the things I have brought from my last visit to Helsinki was a cd with 5 songs recorded at the studio that belongs to the Kirjasto 10, amazing library, that has, between other things and facilities, a "studio" where you can record whatever you want, with the only condition of having a library card that proves that you live in the city. Marvellous. Once confirmed the fact, and after the compulsory reservation, I went towards the "Bibliotek" the past september 4th and I was just astonished. A woman who belongs to the personnel led me to the room, let's call it the "panic room", and the view was impressive: a vertical soundboard with at least 150 buttons, connected to an 8-track, and this connected to a PC with 2 TFT screens. Besides, speakers, microphones, a dvd with its tv, rhythm box (I guess it was that) and something more I do not remember. I requested the woman to teach me the basics to record, as the habit is there, alone, without any stress for that intimate moment. And she called another person and, to sum up, 3 employees were in a moment at the same time with me in the room, speaking in finnish and,trying to solve the problem. In my case, just waiting to see if they clarify how to use the machine. And after one hour and a half they just said that I had to leave, that I should reserve for another day and that they expect that the problem will be fixed.
Then I reserved for the 6th , just a day before I had to leave the country. It was no so much leeway, but there was not another way. The songs I was sure that I prepared them quite good and I was quite sure too that the recording will be decent, I had no pressure. There was a song that I finished in the bus just half an hour before getting in the library, but I was not worried. The sheet where I have written it is scanned here, it is cool how chaotic the writing is, not so many times I have been that chaotic while writing a song, but this time I changed and added a lot of new sentences meanwhile. I really like this song, it is very good one, in my opinion.
On wednesday there were more problems, but, fortunately, I had read some about Pro-tools, the software I used, the kid who came knew more about it, and, with a little bit of luck, we managed to make it work properly. Then, tring other things by myself, I managed to get the basics. The worst part is that there was only one and a half hour left. I recorded 1 or 2 live, singing and playing at the same time and the rest in 2 tracks, voice and guitar separately. I am quite haoppy about the results, because the micro was a bad one and I did not have a technician.
And the clock struck 15:00 and another person came to record, and I had to come back to record a cd!! The following day fortunately they had space between 12 and 14 and I got to record on a cd. Furthermore, I had time, so, I recorded an acoustic version of "Ballenas"; I wanted to record an old song I consider a hit, but I did not remember the lyrics.
And I left Helsinki listening to the "more than a demo" in my headphones at the bus and looking through the window for the last time, until who knows when, the streets and suburbs of the finnish capital. It is not so loud, but it is ok. The "Helsinki sessions".

The sound of Silence...and rain

The sky does not have a proper colour...!!



Scroll down to read the english version!!!!!

Hoy he estado en el Parque Nacional Nuuxio, en Espoo, cerca de Helsinki, una vez mas. Que belleza!! Paisajes preciosos y el verdadero sonido de el Silencio. Acogedor y a la vez impresionante. EL sonido de la naturaleza en su estado puro, solo perturbada por los molestos aviones aproximandose a Vantaa lentoasema.
No tengo sufiecientes palabras para describir lo que se siente. Pequeñez, tal vez, sí, seguro, pero es una sentimiento mas profundo que eso, te hace re-encontrarte con lo que un día fuiste en otra vida: parte de esa naturaleza, perteneciendo a ella con todas sus consecuencias, las buenas y las malas. Y que Paz... Uno se siente pequeno y afortunado de que aun existan sitios asi y que se puedan visitar.
Y despues: Lluvia. El sonido de millones de gotas cayendo a la vez. Que manera de llover! Y esto no es muy grato si estas en medio del bosque, como he dicho antes, sin refugio alguno, formando parte del medio al 100%, calado hasta los huesos como animal libre que vive en el parque.
Y al menos, me dio tiempo a dar la vuelta, completamente calado llegue al refugio donde habia comido mi bocadillo tan solo unos momentos antes. He echado de menos unas cerillas o un mechero para encender un fuego en el sitio adecuado y secar mi ropa y mi cuerpo. Al menos no era invierno, y la temperatura era agradable. Y estaba sacudiendo mi ropa sin camiseta.... pero no se seco. Y corri como nunca habia corrido hacia el autobus, a unos 3 km de distancia, parte cuesta arriba, y con solo 20 minutos de margen para cogerlo. Y lo hice, casi sin aliento, medio mareado y sudando a todo mas sudar. Ayer hice mi comienzo de pre temporada para el Rakiss. Casi me muero.
Y en casa, una ducha reparadora, una cerveza, buena musica y algo de picar. Despues un paseo disfrutando de la noche en VIikki, y vuelta a casa. Un dia para recordar.

"Marvellous landscapes"

I have been today in Nuuxio National Park, in Espoo, nearby Helsinki, another time. What a beauty!!! Marvellous landscapes and the true sound of Silence. Warm and at the same time impressive. The sound of nature in its pure state, only perturbed by the annoying sounds of the planes arriving to Vantaa airport.
I do not have enough words to describe what can be felt there. Small, you feel small, maybe, yes, sure, but it is a deeper feeling than that, it makes you find again what you were one day in another life, part of that nature and belonging to it with all its consecuences, good and bad ones. And what a Peace.... One feels small and fortunate that still places like this exist and that we can visit them.
And then: Rain. The sound of millions of drops falling at the same time. What a way of raining! And this is not very pleasant if you are in the middle of the forest, like I have said before, being part of the nature at a 100%, with no shelter to cover at, and soaked to death, like free animal that lives in the park.
And at least I had time to go back and I walked back the way I had already walked, until the shelter where I had had my lunch just few moments before. I have missed some matches or a lighter to light a bonfire, there was a place designated to do it, in order to dry myself and my clothes. At least it was not winter, and the temperature was pleasant. I was shaking off my t-shirt...but it did not dry.... And then I had to take the bus, and I ran like I had never run before, something like 3 km uphill and with only 20 minutes left to do it. And I did it, out of breath, half dizzy, and sweating to death. Yesterday I did my pre season for Rakiss, I almost die.
And at home, a shower to get my strength back, a beer, good music and something to eat. Then, a walk enjoying the night in Viikki and back home. A day to remember.

Marvellous night lights

Self portraits

What are you thinking about Vik?

Like painters in their days did and still do nowadays, I am some kind of maniac of self portraits, i like them, not the way I am "reproduced" in the pictures, because most of the times I don´t like them, but I do like the feeling of creation, the feeling of leaving behind a part of me that will hopefully last for a long time ...anyway... Enjoy this one, or hate it.... It is a funny one, in my opinion.

Cd´s I have borrowed

I have borrowed all these cd´s from Kirjasto 10 in Helsinki. Wonderful collection of music that they have. All kind of cd´s, al considered as culture. As it should be.

Estos son los cd´s que he alquilado en Kirjasto 10 en Helsinki. Allí tienen una gran coleccion de música. Todo tipo de cd´s, todos considerados como cultura, como debería ser.

The Sea

Maybe it is because I am from a city where the word "Sea " implies a long distance to cover until seeing it, but the truth is that I have never given it the importance that it deserves.
I have always loved the mountains more than the Sea, I still do, because I grew up surronded by mountains, and also because I have never liked so much the facts that "going to the beach" has in Spain. Beach culture during summer. I practiced it during years. Summer by summer, I may say, until I was 16 or 17.
But now, today, in Helsinki, just few metres away from it, I have given it its correct value. That lovely smell, that playful sounds, that sensatin of calmness...
I started to feel better yesterday and today; Today after the course I have found it, at the end of Mariankatu, surrounding Kauppatori, and I have walked towards it. And now I am just there, by its side, enjoying the care it is taking of me. I hope this feeling will last for a long time.

Written in Helsinki, 14 august 2006, 20:20 hrs. approximately.

Rainy day

Today it is raining in Finland. It is funny than just when I am starting to feel better and that painful sadness is getting away through playing the guitar, writing and "The Sea"
(I will post something about this soon), Finland is crying, like crying its sadness out, like I have done, like cleaning its sadness and at the same time mine. Thank you.

First post in Helsinki

Now I am just some metres away from The White Cathedral at Senaatintori, Helsinki. It is like it is taking me under its protection to make me feel better. It seems that the whole city helps me to feel better.
But today is just impossible, I feel so down that nothing can cheer me up. Today I hate life. I hope tomorrow I will love it.
My life is just a rollercoaster, always up, then down, up again, referring to my state of mind. Some days I think that everything is marvellous and that I will find my place soon, that it is a matter of a short time. But that never happens, I never reach that. I need a girl, today I need a girl specifically, I need a job I would work for free in, and a need my place. Some moments I feel so tired, of waiting to those things that never come.
I would be a dead man walking if I wouldn really enjoy some moments, like yesterday at Botta, like friday, taking pictures of the sea side here in Helsinki... I have to say thanks for that.
It is time to move to Esplanadi for a while.

Once in Espa, I have not done much, I have just sat down not even looking at the people just thinking, like I usually do, and trying to understand why things happen in my life. I have fallen asleep even, I am tired today, the night was long. Then I came here and I guess I am going home now. I don know. This is so weird, how I feel. So strange.

When the ground spits fire

It is annoying how warm is Madrid in summer, it is unnatural for me and I can't stand it, it is useless to have a shower just before going out because in 10 minutes you are sweating to death. The ground acummulates heat and it spits it directly to you and to every living being. And then, the sun, fortunately only during the day, it makes impossible for me to stay outside the shade...Unbelievable.
Nowadays I don't have PC at home, so that means that I can not post even if I have ideas to do it...
I am PC junkie, I have to say, maybe, but I am sure that that will disappear when I will be busy working, and the fact that I listen to music in the PC and I am listening to it every single second I am at home, that is the main reason. I have probably lost all my mp3 and DVD's I had in my hard drive... that is a pity.
But, time is running out here in the cyber, so,I hope to see you soon, maybe from Finland.
Moikka!!!

A cup of tea after a long and cold walk

They had a promise to keep. Both were at the place they promised to meet one day. They both did it, in one or another way, how does not matter anymore. Girl and boy, woman and man, meet in the Harbour, just where all these boats for tourists sail, where both took those boats themselves one day in the past, as travellers they were. It is a sunny saturday morning of a typical winter. It's cold, very, but it does not matter, it is sunny and they both like sunny winter days.
Just a Hello! and an embrace and the couple starts walking along Espa, it is all full of snow, they are walking over it, and, of course, as usual, he has brought his camera. He is talking pictures of everything, incluiding her. She is smiling, in a way, she believes him crazy, but in the good sense. He smiles too. Finally, she is his particular model, well, although he does not consider this conditions as the best to takes pictures of her. He would like it to be in a studio, at her or his place, for example. In a more intimate atmosphere. But today is a first opportunity. The conversation that has already started is great, free and easy, as the first times they talked. They are enjoying it. They really do, and they deserve it, after all the time spent in thinking and looking for an opportunity to see each other.
The station is just a few metres further away, their destination is the National Park near the city. First they are taking a train and then a bus. They will spend there some hours. An easy walking route will be enough.
It takes time to arrive to the Park, but once they are there it's worth the trip. They follow the short route finally, it's about enjoying nature, not being exhausted, maybe they are going out tonight.
The lakes are frozen, for him it is still strange and exciting, and scary, of course, he is from south Europe, and that is not common there. He likes cold, that white and attractive landscapes. When he was young he used to play with snow every occasion that he could. On the contrary, she does not like cold, she is a northern european, she prefers the warm soft summers, but she smiles because she is having fun, and she is happy, all her ghosts, all that state of apathy from the past is gone. She has been smiling all the morning, and he loves to see her on that mood. It is a true smile, it comes from her inside, from her heart.
They walk over the ice, it is not the first time, but it is still exciting. He takes more and more pictures, it is a perfect day for it. It is a perfect day for everything.
They follow the path until they choose a beautiful place, to have something like a "lunch", and some warm drink, coffee, I think. And they continue until they complete the path. It took them almost 3 hours to do it and it was very beautiful. It takes a while until the bus to return home comes, then a train, and, once in the city centre they decided to have a warm tea and more conversation, focusing on it and, why not, rest. They are tired.
They laugh at the pictures again, and he promises to give her a cd with them, or go one day to her place to tranfer them into her PC.

-And what about tonight? Do you feel like going out?
-Yes, although I am tired, but we can recover and sleep tomorrow, it's sunday.
-Ok, great!! Where do you want to go? We could maybe go to the place we met. Do you remember?
-Yes, it would be perfect if we go there. Great!

Bilbao harbour

Suomi in Black and White

Europe, Europe, Europe,....

..., the Old Europe. How beautiful it is, how many lovely hidden places belong to Europe. I was travelling through it during 2 inter rails that I will remember among the best trips of my whole life. And, no, I am not in Europe, we are not in Europe, we are in Spain, part of it geographically, but far away of its culture, respect and facilities, ok, why do I give examples...Of almost everything. Far away from everything,except sun and party. Ands I would change all our sunny days for a better country, I would without any remorse or regret. Europe starts in France, if they do consider themselves as europeans. Why don't we have trams? Why don't we have a more pleasant summer? Why that stupid (but true) sentence "Spain is different"? I am sorry, very sorry, but I am not proud of being spanish. Good night.

In the Matrix

Last weekend I was talking with a friend about films. I am not very very very fond of cinema or buying Dvd's or collecting special editions. I like it, more and more since I went to Norway, where it was one of our best distractions. But nothing comparable to collecting cd's, I love that. But today it was one of these days that you feel like staying at home watching a film. I felt very bad (emotionally and physically) the entire week so I decided that it would be good to stay at home today. And it was a good choice.
I have watched the game Germany-Portugal first. Nothing really special. Germany won as I expected. Then I wanted to watch "Fargo", one of my favourite films ever, but I realized that I hadn't admired "Matrix" for a long time. Yes, well, many persons like it because their fights and such stuff. I do also, but, the philosophical similarity that it has with our reality is amazing. Just judge yourself. Maybe you like it or not, maybe you find it Science fiction, but further away, I believe, first of all, that this is a philosophical film. And a harsh critic to mankind, and I love it also. We are like a virus!! It sounds disgusting maybe, but, for me, it sounds funny because I think that, in a way, it is what we are.
I like when Morfeus tells Neo something like: "Nobody has to tell you what or who you are, it doesn't have to be prove, you just have to know it yourself" (I insist in "something like that", don't take it as read). In a society like ours, where "What the rest would say" matters, and a lot, this sentece amazes me. We have just to figure out what we are, and know it, believe ourselves important, because we are. KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
Goodnight, inhabitants of the Matrix.

Writings coming back

Today is has just been a really bad day. 3 nights from the last 6 I have had nightmares. Today I did not, but I had a tremendous headache when I woke up. People in general in Spain don't speak English. Maybe I have figured out what to do this summer finally and maybe work and study. it is sad to say that the best thing has been the World Cup game between Italy and Germany. I've been visiting my grandmother.
But the main subject of this post is this I have written.

Tu voz
se torna ausente
tus letras desaparecen
noto tu ausencia,
pese a que nunca has estado.
Veo tu sonrisa,
en fotos de lugares dorados.
Te echo de menos,
pese a que nunca te tuve en mis brazos.
Y aún tengo (o tenía) planes,
para una visita fugaz,
pero en la que se pare el tiempo
y ya nada importe,
nada.

Me pregunto si aún me esperas,
fumando en la noche,
si aún sueñas con mis besos,
que te harían temblar,
si aún te ríes con mis bromas,
o te las tomas a mal.
Me pregunto tantas cosas,
y no sé ninguna.
Quisiera estar en tantos sitios,
y no estoy en ninguno.
Querría hablar tantas horas contigo
que me quedaría sin voz,
y entonces,
gastaría mi vista sólo en mirarte,
mi tacto en acariciarte,
y así,
hasta quedarme sin sentido alguno.



Your voice
turns absent
your words disappear
I feel your absence,
although you have never been.
I see your smile,
in pictures of golden places.
I miss you,
although I never had you in my arms.
And i still have (or had) plans
for a brief visit,
but, in which the time stops,
and nothing else matters,
nothing.

I ask myself
if you are still waiting for me,
while you smoke in the night,
if you still dream about my kisses,
that would make you shake,
if you still laught with my jokes,
or you take them bad.
I ask myself so many things,
and I don't know any.
I would like to be in many places,
and I am not in any.
I would like to talk so many hours with you,
that I would loose my voice,
and then,
I would consume my sight only in looking at you,
my touch in caress you,
and in that way,
until I had no more senses left.

Back from Bilbao

Ayer volví de pasar 3 días en Bilbao con los Julios. Gracias desde aquí por lo BIEN que se portaron conmigo. Me hacen sentir como en casa. Pondré alguna foto en "Only Pictures" pronto. Quizás (bueno, sin el quizás) demasiada fiesta y poca visita a Bilbao, pero me tengo que buscar fines de semana en los que no haya fiestas. La proxima vez.

Yesterday I have came back after spending 3 days in Bilbao with the "Julios". Thanks a lot for how pleasant they were with me. They make feel like at home. I will post some pictures at "Only Pictures" soon . Maybe (well, without maybe) too much party and less visits to Bilbao, but I have to go another weekend withoput parties. Next time.

Today is just another day

Today the calmness and peacefulness I talked about a couple of days ago has gone, lead by the weeping of a city and a nation. I haven't felt as comfortable as other nights. Helicopters, police cars with their sirens, more people than usual. The game against France and the loss of our virginity in this Football World Cup 2006 has caused a little nightmare in Spain. I have felt that all that things have spoilt my quiet and calmness walk with my dog (that is usually only interrupted by the fear he has of other dogs). Many red T-shirts, many conversations about the game. And it is just another beautiful day. And tomorrow it will also. Nothing should change that. Our life will not change just with a game or a result. Forget about it fast and enjoy life. I want to have my calm nights again. Life is not a 90 minutes game. It is just a little longer.

Again here

It was such a long time with no new posts, I was not so inspired to do it and I have been quite busy.
I am listening to the new Sonic Youth record. It is very good, I guess. It is my first listening.
Just back from getting the dog out. I only find peacefulness, calmness, and, of course, a pleasant temperature at night in this city. The stress of a big city is suddenly gone. I like it. Only a few people walking, or enjoying Madrid's marvellous temperature at night: 24ºC. Many, many, many, cities and their inhabitants would like to have that temperature during the whole summer the day hours. Here, we have it at night. It sounds funny.
I don't know what has changed me. I like calmness and silence in my life. I believe I am asking for too much and Madrid can not pleasantly give me that pleasure. And fresh nights...not anymore. Too big city. I would like it to be half or a fourth its actual size and population. It would be great. there should be a limit, "This city is already full. Only visits." Yep, but maybe that is too radical. I guess. Let the people live where they want. And let me dream about leaving this city.

Mundos opuestos // Opposite Worlds

Esto fue escrito el pasado día 6 de junio, y ha sido traducido hoy, día 13 del mismo mes.
This was written las 6th of june, and it was translated today, 13th of the same month.

Gran diferencia
la que representa tan sólo un cristal,
una puerta cerrada,
pero aún transparente para algunos.
Dos mundos opuestos
separados sólo por centímetros,
y por libertades contrarias.

Pájaros se dejan mecer fuera en las ramas al sol,
sólo porque lo desean,
personas dentro ni siquiera se dan cuenta,
de lo que son privadas.

Días y días pasar
ninguno de ellos es diferente,
en todos esa misma espera,
esa triste calma,
donde uno a uno todos abandonan el barco,
de pena o arrastrados
por olas de olvido.

Tantos y tan bellos ojos profundos,
ojos que han visto vidas enteras,
y que ahora te miran con pena,
de verse con almas expertas,
pero cuerpos que no responden.

Ojos que recuerdan qué han sido,
cada instante incluído en sus vidas,
que se ven abocados ahora a un final poco digno,
a una sinrazón que sólo ellos no ven lógica.



Big difference
that one represented by only a glass,
a closed door, but still transparent for some.
Two opposite worlds,
only separated by centimetres
and by contrary freedoms.

Birds let themselves being rocked outside in the branches at the sun,
only because they wish it,
people inside don't even notice
of what they are deprived.

Days and days pass,
none of them are different,
all with that same wait,
that sad calmness,
where one by one all drop out of the ship,
of sorrow or swept out
by waves of oblivion.

Many and such beautiful deep eyes,
eyes that have seen entire lifes,
and that now look at you with grief,
of seeing themselves with expert souls,
but bodies that don't respond.

Eyes that remember what have them be,
every instant filmed in their lifes,
that now see themselves doomed to a non worthy end,
to an unreasonableness that only them don't see logic.

The misunderstood (persons)

It seems to be the title of a film, a sad one, I believe it could be. Every single day of our lives we meet people who, in one way or other, are different and apart of the society. And they are discriminated or treated in different ways because this conditions. It doesn't matter if it is skin colour, or religion, that is obvious, but this fact goes further on, and things less obvious, like those who think different, who have differerent ideas than the rest, those ideas that nobody understand or such conditions nobody care about. For example, where is the limit between a sect and a religion? Or why is a religion considered the evil religion for other religions, if they are all the same? They are trying to look for something they don't have with quite stupid rules sometimes, very stupid rules, I must say. Rules shouldn't exist.
Those people are just put aside of the society, the others don't even try to understand their ideas, the others just judge.
A great example of this are The elderly people. We just don't understand them, Do you know why? Because we are not old, we will only understand them, and we will become part of the Misunderstoods, when we will get older and "nobody" will understand us.
Have you ever been in a Residence for The Elderly? Sad places, like prisons, not because they were guilty of doing anything wrong against the law, just because they are not like the rest, just because they don't fit in the society anymore.
I've been visiting my grandmother today: great and modern facilities, but still, I do not get used to the fact that she is going to spend there the rest of her life...in such an isolated place, with all the sunlight and warm that it was, the surroundings looked like a plot.There are no excuses, of being between a great area of nature, or ot, it doesn't mater, it is not important, they are not going out, they are inside forever, and the feeling of having 2 little bushes inside doesn't help... Such confortable place to live, it should be, but it is like being in jail with all the confortabilities...and of course it doesn't conmpensate. I hate it.
And I have re-discovered today two things about my life:
1.- I can not stand summers in Madrid, mainly because its unbearable hot. How do I like The Sun, yes, but I just can not be under its rays in summer here.
2.-I can see that The elderly can really see my beauty, everytime I go with my grandmother everywhere, they say to her, oh, what a cute grandson you have!! I like it. It makes me smile and it makes smile her.

Almost 13 hours listening to music

Here, now listening to Jose Gonzalez I have noticed that It is such a huge number of hours. And believe me I haven't cheated anything. I have just stopped to it while I was having lunch and while I wasn't at my room. While studying finnish, while chatting, etc...always listening to Music. Today, from Jose Gonzalez to Sepultura, passing by Mogwai, Shout out Louds, PANIC! at the disco, and many many more....
You can see the list of the songs here, in a word document.
I was obliged to delete the text with the songs because it was too long.

Some moments when everything ....

when everything just seems to be against you, when nothing you want to work works. It is a sensation of being nothing, nobody. But I still think that everything has a reason, and if those things haven't worked is because something.
Here I am, 3:13 at night listening to The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, at least Winamp works. I wanted to record my voice tonight, I wanted it to be a present, in fact I've been speaking for over 6 minutes without knowing than the microphone didn't work. I looked for the sofware in the internet, I made some tests, but when it had to work it didn't.
I've been also trying to write a Motivation letter for applying for money to do my PhD, I didn't know what to write and I better left it for tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a better day. I really hope I won't have those nightmares I had last night. Horrible, I mean, really horrible, maybe I will write it down some day, it is about to be written in my non-electronical diary. Why?
And that finnish language: God, why wasn't I born Suomalainen? But at least I like it.


I will keep on singing in my dreams, and I hope to dream about u.

"Good good things happen in bad towns" (Yeah yeah yeahs, Honeybear)

What will happen in The Village?

Good night

Lordi did it: They won Eurovision!!!

Finally, the traditional Eurovision song contest brings something new and different into our homes, that had been punished with no reason year after year with old-fashioned clichés.
And Lordi got into the contest, not without a polemic choice in their home country, Finland, and receiving critics from a clergyman from the Orthodox Church, who said that Lordi "is a stupid joke of Finland".
But still they won.
And I say, why all that criticism?, Why all that accusations of being an incitement to Satanism? Why is still some people in Europe that close-minded?
Ok, it is not my kind of music, neither it is the "typical political cliché" music that we used and use to see at Eurovision, but at least is a REAL band, chosen by the Finns, and that is a reflect of them: Suomi has many fans of hard rock and guitar rock.
And what about Spain? Again and again and again: deplorable in a word. Why always all that spanish guitars, all that latin spirit, there's only left the bullfighter and the bull itself. It sucks. I really wanted Spain to be the last country. A comitteé of experts chose "Las Ketchup" as the candidates, and well, it doesn't get far better when the crowd has the right to do it...
Another thing that was a surprise (although i knew it) was the politic burden this contest has: we got 12!! points from Andorra!!! Al lot of countries surronding Russia voted them and the same with Scandinavians, they voted each other.

Well, and as Helingin Sanomat proclaimed this morning: "It's official: Hell has frozen over. Finland has won". And it is true, nobody who hasn't been in Finland knows how a Finn felt when they were told about their performances in Eurovision. All those years of humilliation and zero points have ended, now they have their winners: Lordi.

Time for writings

Los tonos cremas de las luces nocturnas

te iluminan mientras fumas.
Tu mirada perdida
delata pensamientos profundos
y mientras, en otro lugar,
con similares luces y parecida belleza,
alguien recuerda tu sonrisa,
alguien piensa en odiar o amar la vida.

Y no sabes por qué no puedo, simplemente
aparecer de la nada en tus calles
y no en las mías;
caer, como la lluvia cae del cielo
y abrazar tus sentidos;
ser Luz que te ilumina
y transformarme luego en hombre;
ser parte de esas calles que admiras,
doblar la esquina

y ver mi cara y la tuya juntas,
y sellar un beso,
por fin,
como amantes de un pasado siglo hicieron,
como amantes de hoy en día hacen.



The night lights' cream colours
illuminate you while you smoke.
Your lost look
betray deep thoughts,
and, meanwhile, in other place,
with similar lights and alike beauty,
somebody remember your smile,
somebody think in hate or love Life.

And you don't know why can't I, simply,
appear from anywhere in your streets,
and not in mine;
fall, like rain falls from heaven,
and embrace your senses;
be Light that illuminates you
and then transform myself in man;
be part of those streets you admire,
turn the corner
and see your face and mine together,
and seal a kiss,
finally,
like lovers from a past century did,
like lovers nowadays do.

And a second one // Y un segundo

Mi desconfianza en mí mismo
me hace ver golpes donde no los hay,
me hace sentir cosas que no son,
ilusionarme cuando la ilusión no existe,
y pensar en el pasado cuando todos saben que

éste ya no importa.


My distrust in myself
makes me see blows where there are not
makes me feel things that are not,
builds up my illusion when illusion doesn't exist,
and think about the past, when everybody know that
it 's not important anymore.

Un nuevo escrito // A new writing

Y escuché una explosión
tan grande que rompió todas las ideas,
las opiniones más dipares.
Juntó a todas y las fundió en la verdad;
tan sorprendente pareció a unos y otros
pero decidieron perdonarse a sí mismos y a los demás,
ya que, la verdad era tan imposible de descubrir
que sólo ella sabía que existía.

And I heard an explosion,
as big that it broke all the ideas,
the most different opinions.
It joined all together and united them in the truth;
such surprising it seemed toone and others
but they decided to forgive themselves and the rest,
because, truth was so impossible to discover
that only She knew that existed.

The begining of a new stage of my life?

Today I have re-started the reading of "The Celestine Prophecy". I hope it will help myself and I will see life as clear as before. This wednesday I bought a cd "Placebo", my favourite cd from them, the first one, although they have really composed good cds later, the last one"Meds" is very good.
I identified that cd with my early twenties, and with a girl, who I haven't see for years.
I was very doubtful about buying the cd, but I finally did.
Then at night, I was with a girl who was having a cigarette in the street, and suddenly, the girl I identify the cd with appear, and we talked for a while. Curious, isn't it?
I am wondering if I wouldn't had bought the cd, would i had met the girl? ....I guess I wouldn't, something says to me....I hope all the magic coincidences are starting again.

The World has turned and left me here

I need a change in my life. I need new horizons, new illusions, new places to discover. I am thinking in reading again "The Celestine Prophecy" ("Las Nueve Revelaciones") by James Redfield, book that I consider as something like my bible (almost), and that guided me in some of my most important decisions in the past. Because I am, in a way, lost. Lost in this jungle as I was once. That book made me see life as nothing did before, and it made me trust in it again.
I went to Norway (the best decision I have ever taken), because some coincidences and facts that happened when I did not know what to choose, and I am proud and happy I did, there I learned many things about life: Life showed me what is Freedom like, and what is life and dead in their pure nature, and believe me it was like living Magic, like if I were a magician.
I asked for things, personal ones, things I believe I truly needed. Life, or destiny, or all the universe's magic forces together granted me, and in one way or another I got my wishes. The saddest way to resolve a problem, in one of the cases, but, who cares now?, that time has passed... A way that I couldn't imagine and that made me suffer at the begining, in other case, but I was glad to live it in that way.
I ask myself today: Where is all that Magic, where are all that coincidences? I must have chosen a wrong way, I don't know what is exactly the limit and what should I change. I know some things I must change, like accepting who I am and try to unfold more my personality, but I don't know which way to take now, I believe I know, but, if I'm wrong? Maybe I am right and I get the wrong idea about the time to go. If I have to wait a little bit?

Almost 30

Yes, in a week now I will be 30 years old...
How does it sound? Old. Is not depression, but I feel I have to find something soon: a place to live feeling Victor 100%, a thing to do for living feeling that it is a thing I would do without getting paid...That means that I love it
I want to find out who the fuck I am and what is the reason why I am here, in planet Earth.
Maybe I am asking for too much, maybe not, but I could not live feeling that I don't have anything to do here, that I am just here to work for the rest of my life going to work and coming home and doing anything else. I still trust this life. (for once I have removed the word "but")
My god!

Leaf among snow

Bicycles are only for summer

Kashmir

Very recently I have discovered a new band, an extraordinay one. With all this internet stuff, discovering new bands for the audience and being discovered by the audience for the bands is much easier. I have discovered many, very good ones, but Kashmir has something more. Too bad that they have entered my life this late, they created the band in 1991in Copenhagen, so it is 15 years of playing, 5 LP's, 1 EP and a live album, plus a documentary released on DVD.
That's all, only my recommendation of listening to this great danish bands...again...Scandinavians....

Some of their extraordinary songs:

Miss you (The good Life, 1999)
Surfing the warm industry (Zitilities, 2003)
Melpomene (Zitilities, 2003)
Kalifornia (No balance Palace, 2005)
She's made of chalk (No balance Palace, 2005)

Links

Official website

The first spanish site for Kashmir

Enjoy the Music!

Music Therapy

A couple of days ago, I was reading "El País" and I found an interesting news. Of course, I read the whole article, and I thought to make a comment, at least, in my blog.
It says like this: "Musicaltherapy in postoperatory". It seems that somebody has done a research study about the effect of Music in people who was operated recently, and a review has been published in one of the most important magazines of Medicine: "The Cochrane Library".
Patients who listened to music, compared to those who did not, complaint much less aout pain after the operations, says the article.
Science has not yet discovered the mechanism or mechanisms through which Music relieve pain, but distraction or relaxation can contribute to it.
You can read the press article here (in spanish) or here (in english).

Session of Music Theraphy in a Hospital

In my personal opinion, this a great news, and, well, why unsdiscovered or unfolded until now? I think everybody believes in that the recovery from a disesase, specially if you have to stay at a Hospital (horrible places, by the way) depends a lot on the personal state of mind of the patient. So, Music, as I truly think that can lead you into a state of absolute calm and/or happiness, should help out in the, sometimes diffcult, recovery.
For me, Music is deeply connected with persons and their state of being, and it is a way of interchange "vital energy", so, people can get high or down with it. I think that part of the composer stays "inside" the song forever, it is like a "mark". Part of their soul, perhaps, goes away with the song, and part of our state of mind. Then, even some of the listeners could take or leave their part in the song, take away the pain or sorrow... Who hasn't listened to a song and believed that takes something out of him/her, or gives him/her the courage to face life again? I have felt it....like if only me and the song existed, and nothing was more important than that.
I want to believe.

The Majestuosity of the "White Cathedral"

Sunset in Finland

Vicios

Dibujos en la noche de Madrid

Helsinki

My beloved Helsinki

Will I go back?

Thinking.....like most of the time I am deeply thinking....

Just back from meeting my friends, like every single weekend, how much do I love them!!! Currently listening to new Poets of the Fall cd...
On my way back home I have been walking something like 20 minutes, alone, and, of course, this means that I have plenty of time to think about important things, mainly, my future. I have discovered, or just unfolded, that I would go almost anywhere in the world if I could, to work in a field that I like. I suppose I am getting frustrated because now I know what do I want to do in life and what do I am, a Scientist, and a person who would like to leave a footprint here, in planet Earth, but I am not working and I am afraid of becoming a person who will not work in a place that he likes and in a place where he will not use his brain and creativity.
Also, a wish: work mainly in Scandinavia, Helsinki, or Norway, why not, I am bound to those places already, so why not coming back?
I am afrad, why? Of being considered old to research, being denied in grants applications because there are many more younger people trying to get into Science...I am not afraid of anything else except that, being considered "not worth" because of age, previous experience, etc.
I am just asking for an opportunity, and I will demonstrate how worth I am....
Difficult times, but I will be allright... I must!!!!!

Conclusiones / Conclusions

Si, han pasado ya un par de dias desde que llegué, y voy interpretando el viaje de una manera más objetiva, al no estar allí. Tengo que reconocer que las pasé canutas algunos días y con algunas situaciones, y que me jodió bastante tener que vivir en un Youth Hostel la mayor parte de los días, excepto aquellos que me alojé en Piia's (Kiitoksia!), también que el frío y el tener que andar todo el día casi sin rumbo fijo hicieron mella en mi infinita paciencia y en mis ánimos. Pero, pese a todo, Helsinki es una ciudad que me encanta y donde me encantaría vivir unos años.
Algunos días realmente me pregunté si de verdad quería ir allí de nuevo, la verdad es que sería difícil, pero nada que no pudiera manejar. De todas formas también has de abrirte un poco más y no descartar otras posibilidades, porque está complicado volver allí así como así, y, desde luego, a menos que cambie algo radicalmente, no va a ser mañana. Así que, una de las principales conclusiones, es que has de tener paciencia en volver y ponerte a hacer cosas aquí y a aprender el idioma.
Otra cosa es que también has de pensar mucho más objetivamente, algo sólo entre tu mente y tú, sin influencias externas. Tú al 100%. Y creo que aún así me querré ir, pero quizás un tiempo ha de pasar para que eso ocurra. Time will tell.....

Yes, some days have passed already since I came back to Madrid, and I am starting to interprete the trip in a more objective way, since I am not there. I have to admit that I passed hard times some days and with some situations, and that it was annoying to live in a Youth Hostel most of the days, except those I accomodated at Piia's (Kiitoksia!), also that cold and the fact that I had to walk almost all day without specific direction, took their toll in my patience and in my spirits. But, in spite of all that facts, Helsinki is a city that I love and where I would love to live some years.
Some days I really asked myself if I truly wanted to go there again, the truth is that it would be difficult, but nothing I couldn't handle. Anyway, also I should open my mind a little bit more and do not rule out other possibilities, because it is complicated to go back there that easy, and, of course, unless something change drastically, it won't be tomorrow. So, the one of the main conclusions is that I have to be patient in going back and start to do something here, and learn the language.
And another thing is that you have to think much more objectively, something only between your mind and you, without external influencies. 100% you. And I believe that even with that I would want to leave, but maybe some time have to pass until that happens. Time will tell....

Pariisin Lentoasemalla

No me gusta juzgar. Procuro no hacerlo, pero cuando me cabreo, como ahora, no puedo evitar hacerlo. Siempre tengo problemas con los franceses. El único que se salva es Stephané, pero ¡Dios! con los demás siempre pasa algo.

De hecho, gracias al retraso ocasionado por la espera a unos franceses en Helsinki y a el retraso de 2 horas en el Charles de Gaulle perdí el tren a Madrid, y me quedé en Barcelona 1 día.

I don't like to judge. I try not to do it, but when I am angry, like now, I can not help doing it. I always have problems with French, except my friend Stephané, but God! it always happens something with the rest.

In fact, thanks to the delay because to wait some french at Helsinki airport and the 2 hours delay at Charles de Gaulle, I lost my train to Madrid and had to spend a day in Barcelona.

Hanging around in Helsinki

Me siento muy raro. Ya no tengo nada que hacer aquí en Helsinki, y, de alguna manera, siento que he venido para nada, sé que en el fondo no, pero me siento muy bajo de energía , siento que siempre espero más de antemano de lo que luego recibo. Y es que es muy triste venir a una ciudad donde tienes amigos y tener que estar solo gran parte del día, si no todo. Pero comprendo que la gente tenga cosas que hacer, aunque sigue siendo triste, muy triste.

Fue el peor día de mi visita a Helsinki.

I feel strange. I don't have already anything to do here in Helsinki, and, in a way, I feel that I have come for nothing, I know deep inside that it is not like that, but I feel really low about Energy, I feel that I always expect more beforehand than what I finally get. And it is very sad come to a city where you have friends and have to be alone most of the time. But I understand that people have important things to do, although it is sad, very sad.

It was just a bad day, the worst of my visit to Helsinki.

Olimpic Stadion Youth Hostel, Helsinki

The craziest adventure of my whole life (and one of the most expensives) is ending. I am finally leaving on saturday and I am going to feel a deep sorrow, but this time I know there is no other option. My days in Helsinki are running out for this time, and up to new and good news, if they will ever be. Who knows? Perhaps after all my destiny will not be bound to this city again. I don't know. I would like it to be, but I don't have the power of decision about my life that fate has. I just trust future and what it could give to me. I am much stronger that some years ago and all that come I will know how to manage it. I am strong and I am not leaving this life defeat me. I will never do. Only when I die I'll leave it take me, but until that moment I'd really want to live in this world. Really.

La aventura más loca de mi vida (y una de las más caras) toca a su fin, me voy al final el sábado y voy a sentir una gran pena, pero ésta vez sé que no hay más narices. Mis días en Helsinki tocan a su fin de momento y hasta nuevas y buenas noticias, si es que las hay. ¿Quién sabe? Quizás después de todo mi destino no se cruzará con esta ciudad otra vez. No lo sé. Me gustaría que sí lo hiciera, pero yo no tengo el poder de decisión sobre mi vida que tiene el destino....
Sólo confío en el futuro y en lo que me pueda dar. Soy mucho más fuerte que hace unos años y todo lo que venga lo sabré torear bien. Soy fuerte y no voy a dejar que esta vida me derrote. Jamás lo haré. Sólo al morir dejaré que me lleve, pero hasta ese momento me quedan muchas ganas de vivir en este mundo. Muchas.

Helsingissä minä olen

It is incredible how do I love this city.

It seems unbelievable that after this years after my graduation at university finally I have changed my mind and today it is the opposite thought about life. Staying at my own country or live anywhere else. I would be glad to live here, in Helsinki for some years, who knows then what will happen after those years, maybe I can not live without Helsinki anymore.
These days I am walking the streets like I have never done and I am getting all those beautiful pictures in my mind, all those beautiful and romantic streets.
Yes, maybe I am living only past memories of the last year, but today I do want to live here.

Kirjasto 10, Helsinki

Tampere - Helsinki bus, GMT +2

It scares. When I think that, maybe, this stay will do more harm than good, it scares me. And that, maybe, this is not my destiny after all. Because if I think that I will get the PhD I am absolutely happy and enthusiastic, but it has to be really hard to live here 3 or 4 years, if you think to do it alone. I don't know. When I see that sometimes I don't understand the reactions of the people, when I think about the language, and how shy I am, it makes me shudder. And my mood is depressed also since, this morning in Standsted I noticed the difficulty I have to understand english people (outside the frame of the BBC, which I don't have any problem with).
Well, what did you think? You must not let it affect you that much and create that insecurity.
[...]
I have seen a detour to the Haartwall Arena, so we are arriving.
Moikka!

Asusta. Cuando pienso que quizásésta estancia me haga más mal que bien me asusta. Y también el quen quizás no sea éste mi destino al fin y al cabo. Porque, si pienso en que me van a dar el PhD me pongo contento, pero realmente debe ser duro vivir aquí 3 ó 4 años, sobre todo si tienes pensado hacerlo solo. No lo sé. Cuando veo que a veces no comprendo las reacciones de la gente , cuando pienso en el idioma, y en lo tímido que soy, me da escalofríos. Y mis ánimos están un poco bajos desde que esta mañana, en Standsted, me diera cuenta de que tengo dificultad en entender a los ingleses. La BBC, perfecto, pero lo que es en la calle me cuesta un poco. En fin, ¿qué pensabas? No dbes dejar que te afecte tanto y te cree esa inseguridad.
[...]
He visto un desvío al Haartwall Arena, o sea que estamos llegando.
Moikka!!

Here I go

Well, yes, in a few hours I am travelling to Finland again, almost 8 months later, in order to do (at the moment) 1 interview and a serious talk with my ex-supervisor there, to start a PhD.
It is strange, more than other times, because I am travelling and I don't have a flight back to Madrid and because I will be in the city I wanted to be but I could not, although the possibilty of leaving again and not coming back it's sad. It will be more if I feel that I am not coming back. Sometimes I think that things there are still how I left them, and I know many things have changed and it won't be the same, because of that I am afraid also, it is something like: "Me against the marvellous past", and I hope I could cope with the present. It has been a desired place to live in the last months and I know I will be happy there even if the conditions have changed. But it will be hardat the begining: more responsability, less party, more serious work, but that is what I want!
And also, the sensation I have, I know it is only for a couple of weeks maximum, but, for example, when I said goodbye to my friend Bruno, it was exactly the same situation as the first time I left to Finland that 10th of january..I don't know what to expect and I don't know what will happen, but I had to do this. I hope it will be a great start of many beautiful and good things. Yes, Vic, Let's believe in great things to come!!
I hope to have access to a computer to write something, but I don't know, I wil probably write something in a diary and then publish it in the near future with the original date.

Civil servants, government employee, call them as you want

Ok, I have not liked what we call in spanish "funcionarios" during my whole life. Most of the times that means that you have to go from office to office, from one paper to another that you need for the previous, or in order to apply for some thing. Horrible burocracy.
Of course don't blame everybody. i even have what I consider friends among those government employees, it is their choice, and, of course, I will not judge them just for being one of them.
But, well, since I have to do all that paper work, fill papers and papers and tons of papers and brochures, please SMILE! I am just asking for some information, a good job and, maybe if they don't know something a smile and a Sorry! and it could be enough not to just start complaining while getting out of the office. Working face to face with customers or people appying for something, or selling things or whatever else, is diffiult, but PLEASE, SMILE!!! Many people would kill in order to work where you work, so, please, feel lucky for it.

Una de las puestas mas bonitas que he visto

One of the most beautiful sunsets that I have ever seen. Again is Suomi.
I want to dedicate this picture to all the people who is in Finland at the moment,

"Enjoy what you have, others can not even imagine what are Finland and Scandinavia like, others can more than imagine, they know it and they miss it because they have seen and could not be there even if they want"

Quiero dedicar esta foto a todos los que ahora están en Finlandia,

"Disfrutad de lo que tenéis, otros no pueden siquiera imaginar a qué se parecen Finlandia y Escandinavia, otros pueden más que imaginar, ellos lo saben y lo echan de menos porque han visto y no pueden estar allí incluso si lo desean"

I like this picture

I like this picture, taken in Seurasaari, spring 2005, Finland.

Entre Montañas // Between Mountains

Another writing similar to "Between two seas", I have got into the geographic-based poems... Nice! Written yesterday, 11 March 2006

Otro escrito, similar a "Entre dos mares", me he metido en los peomas basados en geografía, Está bien! Escrito ayer, 11 Marzo 2006

Entre Montañas

Te sientes tan pequeño
entre montañas
tan altas y distantes ya
imposibles son de escalar.

Y, aunque pudieras
te das cuenta de que sólo a una podrás ascender cada vez,
y, ¿cuál elegir?
¿a cuál dar la espalda?
o quizás quedarte en tu sitio
mirando hacia una
y hacia la otra
sorteando las avalanchas verbales que desprenden
hasta que llegue el momento de marchar
y dejarlo todo atrás.

Marchar por amor a mi mismo,
por evitar la muerte del alma
y el suicidio de la esencia.

Comienzo de una nueva vida
sólo mía y
del Destino.

Between Mountains

You feel such small
between mountains,
such high and distant already,
impossible of being climbed.

And, although you could,
you notice that only one can be climbed each time
and, ¿which to choose?
¿Which to turn your back on?
Or maybe stay at your place,
looking to one
and to the other,
getting round the verbal avalanches that detach,
untill the moment of leaving will come,
and leave all behind.

Depart due to the love to myself
to avoid the soul's death
and the essence's suicide.

Beginning of a new life,
only mine and
Destiny's.

Flowers on the railway track

Yes, I have seen flowers on the railway track in Madrid today. Flowers that should have never been there, 191 were cut forever.
I don't know any of you, I even wasn't here that day, I saw it from the distance, those trains I had taken thousands of times. Those stations I'd been so many times and where my father works. It was so sad. Stop Violence.

In your honour.

Kalevalanpäivä

Tänään, 28 helmikuuta, on Kalevalanpäivä. Hyvää päivää kaikille Suomalaisille!!!
Well, sorry all Finnish people if there is any error... I wanted to say" today, 28 february, is the Kalevala Day, Happy day to all the Finns!!! I am not sure about Suomalaisille.

Hoy es el día del Kalevala, poesía épica recopilada por Elias Lönnrot, equivalente a lo que puede ser "El Quijote" o "El Poema del Mío Cid" en España, de una importancia máxima. Tengo que decir que, sorprendentemente, me ha gustado el comienzo del libro, me lo regalaron en inglés y lo leo de vez en cuando, de poco en poco para no empacharme. Es muy denso pero bonito.

Today is the Kalevala Daym epic poetry compiled by Elias Lönnrot, equivalent in importance to "ElQuijote" or "El Poema del Mío Cid" in Spain. I have to say, that, surprisingly, I have liked the beginning of the book, I got it as a present, and I read it from time to time, not to get an excess. It is very dense, but also beautiful.


Aquí está el comienzo del mismo:
Here is the start of the book:

I. In the Beginning


I have a good mind
take into my head
to start off singing
begin reciting

reeling off a tale of kin
and singing a tale of kind.
The words unfreeze in my mouth
and the phrases are tumbling
upon my tongue they scramble
along my teeth they scatter.
Brother dear, little brother
fair one that grew up with me
start off now singing with me
begin reciting with me
since we have got together
since we have come from two ways!
We seldom get together

and meet each other
on these poor borders
the luckless lands of the North.

And so on. Beautiful, isn't it?

Photographic experiments with snow

Esta foto fue tomada la pasada madrugada del sabado al domingo, mientras caia una de las mayores nevadas que recuerdo en Madrid, serían las 6:30 de la mañana y cuando volví de salir por ahí, cogí la camara y me puse a experimentar. En B/N y color, a ver cual os gusta más.

This picture was taken last saturday to sunday night, while one of the greatest snowfall that I remember in Madrid, it was 6:30 aproximately in the morning, when I came back from going out, I took my camera and started to experiment. In B/W and colour, Which one do you like most?

We are Scientists in Madrid

Hey!!!
Today We are Scientists play in Madrid, Moby Dick club, I am really looking forward to see one of my favourite bands of the last months. I feel I am a Scientist today more than other days!!! And I hope it is a sign that I am going to work again as a Scientist soon!!!!

Hey!!!
Hoy We are Scientists tocan en Madrid, en la sala Moby Dick, realmente estoy edeseando ver a una de mis bandas favoritas de los últimos meses. Me siento un científico hoy mucho más que otros días!!! Y espero que sea una señal de que voy a ejercer de nuevo como ello dentro de poco!!!!

Third chapter: Best songs 2005

I have a mix with the songs I consider to be as the best during last year. Many others did not have a place finally, but I am glad about the 2 cds I have recorded. Here they are:

Tengo un mix con las canciones que considero son las mejores del pasado año. Otras muchas no tuvieron su sitio finalmente, pero estoy contento de los dos cds que he grabado. Ahí van:

Cd1

1. Teenage Fanclub - born under a good sign (3:00)
2. Death Cab For Cutie - Soul Meets Body (3:51)
3. Weezer - This Is Such A Pity (3:24)
4. Millencolin - Shut You Out (3:39)
5. Shout Out Louds - Very Loud (4:04)
6. Editors - Munich (3:46)
7. HIM - Rip out the wings of a butterfly (3:29)
8. Idlewild - Love steals us from loneliness (3:12)
9. Mew - Apocalypso (4:46)
10. Bloc Party - Luno (3:56)
11. Low - Everbody's Song (3:55)
12. Nada Surf - Always Love (3:20)
13. Carpark North - Human (2:30)
14. Rise Against - Swing Life Away (3:20)
15. We Are Scientists - The Great Escape (3:18)
16. Juliette And The Licks - Got Love To Kill (3:45)
17. Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch (4:37)
18. Madonna - Hung Up (5:36)
19. Rammstein - Stirb nicht vor mir // Don't Die Before I Do Feat. Sharleen Spiteri (4:05)

Cd2

1. Kashmir - Kalifornia (5:27)
2. Millencolin - Stalemate (3:18)
3. Span - Better Belive it (3:44)
4. Disco Ensemble - We Might Fall Apart (4:28)
5. We Are Scientists - This Scene Is Dead (3:43)
6. Kaiser Chiefs - Modern Way (4:03)
7. Foo Fighters - In Your Honor (3:50)
8. The Posies - Second Time Around (3:36)
9. Maximo Park - Apply some pressure (3:20)
10. James Blunt - Wisemen (3:42)
11. Bloc Party - This Modern Love (4:25)
12. Kent - Palace & Main (4:05)
13. Wir Sind Helden - Wenn Es Passiert (3:33)
14. Armor for sleep - Awkward last words (3:46)
15. Poets of the Fall - Lift (5:10)
16. Apulanta - Pahempi toistaan (5:09)
17. Coldplay - Square One (4:47)
18. Ivan Ferreiro - El Viaje De Chihiro (3:10)
19. Lou Barlow - Legendary (4:11)

Mi first dream in finnish // Mi Primer sueño en finés

It was something like 3 nights ago, I remember myself somewhere and somehow, don't blame me, it 's hard to remember dreams very well, but, the thing is that I dreamt in finnish: I met a girl and she could speak a little spanish, and then , when she told me that she was from Finland, I started to talk in finnish, very basic, but finnish: Puhun vähän suomea, Olin suomessa 7 kuuta, Mikä sinun nimesi on?.. Well, simple, but, as I said: Suomi!!!!

Fue hace unas tres noches, me recuerdo en algún sitio y de alguna forma, no me echéis la bronca, ya sabéis que es difícil recordar sueños pasado un tiempo, pero buen, la cosa es que soñé en finés, muy básico, pero finés: Puhun vähän suomea, Olin suomessa 7 kuuta, Mikä sinun nimesi on?, bueno, simple, pero, como he dicho: Suomi!!!

Second Chapter about best Music of 2005

Los mejores conciertos a los que he asistido el pasado año:
The best shows I have been to in the lasty year:


1.- The Posies - Madrid- Arena 7th Dec 05
2.- Teenage Fanclub - Helsinki- Tavastia 9th Jul 05
3.-Nada Surf - Madrid - Arena 3rd Dec 05
4.- Disco Ensemble - Vantaa - Ankkarock 7th Aug 05
5.- The Posies - Vantaa- Ankkarock 6th Aug 05
6.-Kent -Helsinki - Special Tent Käpylässä 17th Jun 05
7.- Bloc Party - Madrid - Aqualung 18th Nov 05
8.-Kent - Stockholm - Storängsbotten - 28th may 05
9.-The Go-Betweens - Madrid - Aqualung 2nd Nov 05
10.-Maga - Sonorama Festival (Aranda de Duero) - 20 August 05

And finally I just can not forget others that haven't been in the list:
Y, finalmente, no puedo olvidar otros que no han estado en la lista:
22 pistepirkko, Mercromina, Mogwai, Teenage Fanclub again, Poets of the Fall, Strip music, Beezewax....
And also some big deceptions: Audioslave (what the fuck are them?, a mix of RATM and Soundgarden. And Apulanta: Great band and great played in Ankkarock, but really bad sound.

First chapter about the Best Music of 2005

Mejores discos del 2005
Al principio pensé en hacer un top 10 y ordenarlos, pero no sería justo para mí. Son más de 20 y no están en orden.

best LP's year 2005
At first, I thought about make a top 10 and get them ordered also, but it would not be fair in my opinion. There are more than 20 and not in order.

Mew [and the glass handed kites]
Kent [Du & jag döden]
Disco Ensemble [first aid kit]
Low [the great destroyer]
Bloc Party [silent alarm]
Shout out louds [howl howl, gaff gaff]
We are Scientists [with love and squalor]
Weezer [make believe]
Death cab for cutie [plans]
The Posies [every kind of light]
Beezewax [who to salute]
22 pistepirkko [Drops and kicks]
Editors [the back room]
ivan ferreiro [canciones para el tiempo y la distancia]
Lou Barlow [emoh]
mercromina [desde la montaña más alta del mundo]
Moi Caprice [You Can't Say No Forever]
nada surf [the weight is a gift]
Poets of the Fall [Signs of Life]
teenage fanclub [man-made]
Wilco [kicking television (Live in chicago)]
james blunt [back to bedlam]

Nostalgic and loosing faith

Si, algunos días, como por ejemplo, hoy, pierdo la fe completemente y pienso que no voy a volver a Helsinki jamás, cosa que me entristece hasta límites insospechados. También pienso que no voy a poder dedicarme a lo que me gustaría, investigar sobre cancer, principalmente, y, que cojones!!, es normal: no tengo ninguna experiencia en el ramo, así que es muy dificil.
En fin, espero que de estos días, como han pasado otras veces, salgan mejores días y me den una alegría de un vez. "La vida trata sobre no abandonar"

Yes, some days, like today, I absolutely lose faith and I think I am never coming back to Helsinki, and that make me feel sad in a incredible way. Also, I think about if I will not work to whain a field I would like to, reseaching about cancer, mainly, and, What the fuck!!!, it is normal, I don't have any experience working in it, so, it is very difficult.
Well, I hope that out of these days, like it has happened in the past, better days will come out and will give me hapiness finally. "Life is about not giving up"

Hospital

Esto lo escribí durante la estancia de mi abuela en el hospital.
I wrote this during my grandma's stay at the hospital.

Noche de Reyes 5 de enero de 2006
"Este es el tercer día que acompaño a mi abuela en el hospital. Es agotador.
Ayer tuve un sueño acojonante. De miedo y de lo mal que lo pasé.
El principio no lo recuerdo, pero era acogedor. Era como una fiesta de cumpleaños de de despedida, más bien creo que de esto último. Recuerdo a bastante gente allí. Me regalaban una botella de vino o de cerveza, me resultaba extraño que fuese de Mallorca.
Después de la cena no sé qué pasaba, había un patio, con un toro muy grande, yo, para protegerme, recuerdo correr por el patio y subirme a la torre, bastante inestable, por cierto. Creo que había una cría de vaca también, pero no estoy seguro. El toro creo que sólo llegaba a rozarme.
Una chica, que, realmente no sé quién es, pero tengo varias candidatas, estaba también suibida en la torre conmigo. Ella encontraba una especie de tijeras. Yo sabía para qué iba a usarlas, agarré lo que parecía ser una hoja, sabiendo que me iba a cortar, pero resultó ser el mango, así que no pude hacer nada. Se cortó los dedos, la lengua y no sé qué más. Aparte la mirada y ahí, afortunadamente, me desperté.

El caso es que, al despertar, el sueño me pareció malévolo, como diseñado por algún ente desconocido y malo. Incluso me dio la impresión de que incluso la muerte estuviese cerca, como para comprobar el estado de mi abuela.
Hasta podria haber hablado con ella....
Me dio la sensación de que pasaba eso...que me decía que aún no era la hora.Todavía no. Era acojonante. De hecho, no me quería dormir otra vez para no soñar más"

La última noche que pasé allí, el 8 de enero, también creo haber soñado algo malévolo, pero que no recuerdo, como si fuera solo para joder.

Hasta ahí.


The Three Wise Men night, january, 5th 2006

“This is the third day that I stay with my grandma at the hospital. It is exhausting.
Yesterday I had a terrific nightmare. Because it was fearful and because how bad did I went through it.
I don’t remember the beginning, but it was cosy. It was like a birthday party, or a goodbye-party, rather the latter than the first. Very charming. I remember many people there. I was given a bottle of wine or beer as a present, but it was strange it was from Mallorca.
After dinner I don’t know what happened, there was a patio, with an enormous bull. I, in order to protect myself, ran along the patio and climbed a tower up, very unstable, by the way. I think there was a calf also, but I am not sure. The bull I think it only brushes me.
A girl, that, I really don’t know who is her (although I have some candidates), was also at the top of the tower with me. She found some kind of scissors. I knew what was the purpose of the scissors, I took what it seemed to bethe blade, but it was the handle, so I couln’t help doing what she did. She cut her fingers off, her tongue, and I don’t know what else. I looked away and, fortunately, I woke up.

The thing is that, when I woke up, the nightmare looked malevolent for me, like designed by an unknown and bad entity. It even gave me the impression that Death was near, maybe to check my grandma’s health.
I could have even talked to it.....
It gave me the sensation that it was happening...that it was not the time yet. Not yet. It was terrific. In fact, I did not want to sleep again, to not dream”


The last night I spent there, january, 8th, I think I dreamt something malevolent too, but I have no idea of what.

That’s all.

One of the bands of my life:The Posies

English speakers, you have the same article down in english. Don't leave this post!!!!

Corría el año, puede ser 1995, cuando en la radio oí "Please return it". Esa canción me hizo click ahí dentro, justo donde los sentimientos te despiertan cada vez que un estímulo los llama la atención. Al poco me compré "Frosting on the beater", sabiendo que no tenía la "buena que había oido en la radio el otro día", pero queriendo escuchar algo de aquel maravilloso grupo que habían dejado sonar en Radio3. Además, estaba barato. Un disco maravilloso, su obra maestra junto con, para mí, "amazing disgrace", que no tardé en adquirir algún tiempo después.

Pues ese grupo que ya había visto en varias ocasiones, todas buenas, tocaba en Madrid, el pasado 7 de diciembre de 2005, día en el que, quizás, he podido asistir a uno de los mejores conciertos de mi vida. La noche empezó bien, justo delante de nosotros entraban los miembros de la banda, entrando yo justo después del mismísimo Ken Stringfellow.
Abrían esos noruegos ya conocidos para mí: Beezewax. Muy buen concierto y muy divertido, aunque casi nadie parecía conocerles. Traían debajo del brazo para presentar su reciente "Who to salute". Sonaron canciones como "shinjuko park", "So young still"y el que ha sido su primer single de su último disco "I'm not where I'm supposed to be", entre otras. Sólo queda mencionar de forma especial al bajista que tocó con un dedo escayolado.

Después venía lo bueno. Lo que parecía que iba a ser una entrada más que discreta y un tirón de orejas a la afición madrileña se tornó en un lleno más que aceptable. La cosa empezó muy bien, el primer gran éxito que cayó fue "Daily mutilation", seguido de, sí, siempre presente, y casi siempre en el mismo lugar( 2º), "Please return it". Fueron cayendo canciones tras canciones, "Second time around" , mi favorita de "Every kind of light", "Ontario"...Yo y mis amigos J y Lobo, estábamos disfrutando. Esas canciones que me han acompañado durante los 10 últimos años, que anunciaron con irse para siempre y volvieron para nuestro jolgorio y disfrute, tras 5 largos años de espera. Los necesitaba.
Y más: "Conversations", "I guess you're right" y llegó el momento en que los dos compositores del grupo (ya querrían muchos grandes llegarles a la suela de los zapatos), Jon y Ken, Auer y Stringfellow bajaron del escenario y se pusieron a tocar a pie público....y fue el delirio... Así cayeron "grant hart" y "dream all day", hasta que volvieron al escenario, después de una irónica invitación de un segurata (supongo) para retomar al escenario, no sin una más irónica aún respuesta de Jon, ofreciéndole su guitarra. Subieron al escenario de nuevo, y siguieron: "world", "everybody is a fucking liar", "somehow everything" fueron otras de las canciones elegidas para el concierto, ésta última la única de "Success". Terminaron su primer set con "Solar sister".
Y aquí un inciso sobre el público que asistió a la sala. Al igual que el reciente anterior concierto, Nada Surf en la misma sala Arena (por llamarlo de alguna manera, porque me parece como hacer un concierto en Pachá) el público asistente, con sus contadas excepciones, no se movía demasiado, es decir, vamos a ver, que la gente se movía más en el concierto que ví de los mismos Posies en Ankkarock Festival en Finlandia, Finlandeses, 1- Españoles, 0. para que luego hablen de tópicos, de los que yo mismo me quejé allí (ahora parecen repetirse aquí). En fin, que, o os haceis viejos, o os dejan de gustar The Posies, en fin, respeto a todo el mundo, pero curioso dato éste.

Después salieron otra vez y siguieron con los mega éxitos: "definite door", gran sorpresa, "terrorized", una de mis favoritas y más sorpresa aún, porque nunca les había visto tocarla en directo.
Salieron una tercera vez más, para tocar una última canción, Ken Stringfellow únicamente vestido con su abrigo, que se quitó al empezar a cantar, dejando al descubierto su cada vez más abultada tripa (los años pasan para todos) y unos calzoncillos de lo más divertidos. Pues la canción elegida para el apoteósico final fue "I finally found a jungle I like!", alargada hasta el infinito e incluso mezclada con unos versos de "wonderwall" de Oasis.
Mientras nos dirigíamos al baño, me crucé con el batería, simplemente le indiqué mi estado de éxtasis con el pulgar hacia arriba en señal de aprobación. Y el espectáculo siguió después. con los compositores del grupo intentando vender discos a la salida. Solo una palabra para recordar: histórico.

English


It was the year, could it be?, 1995, when I heard on the radio “please return it”. That song made a “click” inside me, where feelings awake you everytime that an stimule attracts their attention. Not so long time passed and I bought “Frosting on the beater”, knowing that it didn’t contain the”good one I had heard on the radio the other day”, but I wanted to hear something from that marvellous band that had their moment of glory in Radio3. In addition, it was cheap. A fantastic cd, their masterpiece with, in my opinion, “amazing disgrace”, cd that I acquired some time later.

That band that I had already seen some times, all good, played in Madrid last 7th december, day that, maybe, I could have been to one of the best shows of my whole life. The night started good, just before us the members of the band went in the venue, and I got in just behind Ken Stringfellow himself.
The warm-up band was Beezewax, norwegian band that I already knew. Very good and funny concert, although nobody seemed to knew them. The were introducing us their last record, “who to salute”. They played songs like "shinjuko park", "So young still" and the one that has been the first single of the cd "I'm not where I'm supposed to be", among others. It is only left to be mention that bass player, who played with a plastered arm.

Good things came after Beezewax. What it seemed to be an average attendance and a box of ears to the audience of Madrid, turned to a full house more or less acceptable. The concert started really well, the first big hit they played was "Daily mutilation", followed by, yes, always present, and almost always at the same place (second), "Please return it". Song after song were played, "Second time around", my favourite from "Every kind of light", "Ontario"...Me and my friends J and Lobo were enjoying ourselves. That songs that have been with me for the last 10 years, that announce to leave forever and then they came back for our fun and pleasure, after 5 long years of wait. I needed them.

An more: "Conversations", "I guess you're right” and it arrived the moment when the 2 composers of the band (many big bands’ composers would like to be nearly as good as them), Jon and Ken, Auer and Stringfellow got down the stage and started playing where the audience were standing...and we all went crazy. They played "grant hart" and "dream all day" there, untill the security man (I suppose) invited them ironically to get into to the stage again, not without a more ironic answer of Jon, offering him his guitar.

They got into the stage again and continued: "world", "everybody is a fucking liar", "somehow everything": were other of the chosen songs for the show, this last one the unique that they played from “Success”. The finished their first set with "Solar sister".

And here a little digression about the audience who attended the venue. Just like the previous recent concert, Nada Surf in the same Arena rock Venue ( just for calling it in a way, because it seems like doing a concert in Pachá, the famous disco in Madrid), the audience, with very seldom exceptions ( that's me!), did not move or dance, that is, let' say, that, people moved and danced more in the Posies' concert in Ankkarock Festival, Finland; Finns, 1 - Spaniards, 0. Then it is not worth it talking about topics, of wich, me myself complained there (now they seem to get repeated here). Well, one out of two, or you are becoming old or you are giving up liking The Posies, I respect everyone, but this is an odd information.
Then they rose again, and they kept on playing succesful songs: "definite door", big surprised, "terrorized", one of my favourites and even a bigger surprise, because, I had never seen them play it live.
They rose once more to play one last song, Ken Stringfellow only wearing his coat, which he got off just when he started singing, leaving uncovered his more and more bulky belly (years pass for everybody) and a very funny underwear. The chosen song for the tremendous end was "I finally found a jungle I like!" elongated till the infinite and even mixed with some verses of "wonderwall" from "Oasis".

While we headed the bathroom, I passed the drum player, and just in sign of approval: my thumb up, like saying It has been wonderful!! The show continued at the entrance, the composers of the band trying to sell some cds...
And only a word to remember: Historic.

Exploradores / About Internet browsers

I have checked out 7 different browsers with my blog, to see, which ones work properly.
Those are:

Internet Explorer
Mozilla
Netscape
Opera
Avant Browser
GoSurf
Slimbrowser

The three specific programs I could see my blog perfectly in and all the links worked were:

Mozilla
Netscape 8.0
Opera

I have to say that I have really liked Netscape, some years have passed without using it. Opera is good also, and Mozilla is the one I currently use.

Make a good choice!!!!



He comprobado 7 diferentes exploradores de internet con mi blog para vel cuales funcionan y cuáles no.
Estos son:

Internet Explorer
Mozilla
Netscape
Opera
Avant Browser
GoSurf
Slimbrowser

Los tres específicos con los cuales mi blog funciona son los siguientes:

Mozilla
Netscape 8.0
Opera

Tengo que decir que realmente me ha gustado el Netscape, hacía unos años que no le usaba. Opera me ha parecido bueno también. Y por último, Mozilla es el que estoy usando actualmente.

¡¡¡Que vosotros lo elijáis bien!!!

Problem found

I have checked out that links don't work at all in Internet Explorer navigators.In fact, I personally have tried in the same computer with I.E.. Also, the layout of the web is not the desired. I highly recommend to install Mozilla Firefox 1.5 It works perfectly, and it is a great alternative to the monopoly of I.E. At least, if it would be the best....

You can easily get Mozilla Firefox here:

http://www.mozilla.com/

Try it and enjoy my blog, please!


Me he dado cuenta de que el problema de que los links no funcionasen se daba solo en aquellos usuarios que utilizaban navigadores Internet Explorer. De hecho, yo lo he comprobado en el mismo ordenador y no funcionan. Además, el aspecto de la web no es el deseado. Recomiendo encarecidamente la isntalación de Mozilla Firefox 1.5. Funciona perfectamente, y es una gran alternativa al monopolio de I.E.. Al menos si este fuera el mejor.....

Puedes descargarte Mozila fácilmente y gratis desde:


http://www.mozilla.com/

Házlo y disfruta del contenido total de mi blog, por favor!!